Maintaining the persona of ‘𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐥, 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐦, 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝’ womxn in front of the other in hard conversations limits the availability for intimacy in the moment

For a long time,

I wasn’t even aware I did this

Or that there was another way of relating because this pattern of attachment was developed so early on in childhood…like all of ours did

I’ve been working with this part of myself, specifically 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆, these last couple weeks, as I’m in launch mode for my 1:1 coaching

(working with attachment styles in relation to business is super helpful)

This dance between a deep desire to be seen, & hiding in my room because the outside world isn’t safe, is a young young part of me that lives under my right armpit

She’s familiar

I know her

And she gets scared when big things are happening

I lifted my right arm to expose this part of my body in front of my therapist...

Feeling 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 to structure & form

Is less about the 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 & 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒎

And more about

The integration

With the rest

of Who You Are

< a pleasure seeking erotic goddess >

When things, especially our business,

Feel hard & draining

Ask yourself:

Where are you not allowing yourself the full range of your expression?

When we feel resistance

It’s because 𝘁𝘄𝗼 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝗱𝗱𝘀

The integration

-a unification of the two-

And Recognizing them as one in the same

Allows us to be All of it at once

And None of it at the same time

If you sometimes feel like a pleasure, flowy, junkie who just can’t get anything done…

It’s probably because you’re not allowing yourself to have pleasure be PART OF your life

We live in a world that says

𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 mix biz with pleasure

But I disagree :)

And ever since dismantling that program,

and...

I moved to Denver less than 3 years ago with no paying clients, thousands in CC debt, no car, 2 dogs & a deal with my brother to meal prep in exchange for rent because I didn’t have anything else.

I was working hard to move my successful in-person biz online, but my personal life kept getting in the way.

I ended an extremely abusive relationship when I got here. But 2 weeks later found out I was pregnant.

For the couple years prior, the body dysmorphia & eating disorders I struggled with my whole life, got really bad from competing in the fitness industry.

I was also quietly fighting substance abuse & a pattern of partners that ended with court orders of protection. Yes, more than 2.

It wasn’t pretty.

But I was relentless on my pursuit for inner freedom, impact, purpose, wealth, success & epic love.

I always knew I was meant for more & that these parts of my journey were the roadmap to my success.

What...

Okay, it was way more than ‘that one time’ ;)

But wowza, did I wish I knew the goldmine that was under there from the start…

The way we show up in the bedroom, is the way we show up in every other area of our lives.

As I’ve grown my biz into the multiple 6 figure range over the last 3 years, it has revealed to me, over & over, where I was either available, or 𝙣𝙤𝙩 available, for 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞.

When I first started my biz (as a holistic health coach + boxing/yoga teacher 10 years ago), like many of our relationships start, it was 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙡.

There was more focus on the external, the image, the identity piece, the ‘am I really this?, ‘how can I be more of this?’ Kind of thing.

As the years went on,

my relationship to my biz changed.

Some moments were great. Filled with love, secure attachment & receiving.

Other years were, 𝗻𝗼𝘁.

When I fell out with myself,

my biz...

the more you strengthen your ‘no’

the more 𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 you become

because your ‘𝙣𝙤’

is really just your ‘𝙮𝙚𝙨’

you’re a 𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒏𝒆𝒕

constantly attracting

creating

& calling in

𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆

is 𝙘𝙤𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙘 𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙮

the yoniverse

doesn’t care what language you use

she cares

about the 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬

you hold

the more 𝙣𝙤’𝙨 you have

the stronger your field gets

this makes you 𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 as ever

and a really strong receiver

for your heart’s deepest desires

so

keep your awareness on 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒆𝒍𝒅

energetically hold 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 vision

embody 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 highest self

to crystalize your reality

let your no’s

be your roadmap

to the bigger

creation

at play

a deeper conversation on this subject with a breakdown to implement & optimize is on a brand new solocast on The Reclamation Project on iTunes / Spotify!

It’s always right there showing us, through its natural function, how to take what is already inside of us, out into the world.

Excretion

Secretion

Emoting

Child birth

Erection

Orgasm

Building muscle

These functions teach us to live in harmony with both the ecosystem within, & around us.

Examples:

Arousal: Under the Erotic Blueprint framework, I’m an Energetic Shapeshifter (links in bio to take the quiz). This means slow, anticipatory touch gets be hot, wet, & ready. Too much too fast usually makes me shut off & lose my turn on.

My body literally THRIVES on less is more.

For me, this is how I operate in biz x life. Less is more. The more I slow down & the more I stay present in my body, the more pleasure, wealth, success I create.

Orgasm: generally speaking - there’s quite the build up, climax, & come down. After a roller coaster like that, the body needs some stillness & rest.

Same in life. We have a launch, a big event in biz...

As we move

From a

𝑴𝒆

To a

𝐖𝐞

Society

The healing

Goes from

𝐀𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞

To

𝐓𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

It’s easy to know ourselves

in the comfort of our own space

But in community

There are edges

And THAT

is what we must press up against

for a new level of Self

What’s been helpful for you in getting into communal space after deep self work?

How we walk around in our sex

is a great tell

for whats happening everywhere else

Clenched, bracing

pulling in

up

holding

breathing in

breathing in

sipping

tightening up

This doesn’t feel good

anywhere in our body

Holding our sex in that way

to me, is like holding our breath in, to life

Constantly taking in

for other

rather than receiving

for self

They are different

One is in ego

and the other

in truth

To relax

to open

in our sex

is to relax

to open

to life

When we are bracing, clenching, holding

we are cutting off

from the flow of erotic creation

that wants to be unleashed

from within

As receivers,

we have to open the gates to allow

the more

This happens

when we

relax

let go

and let God

Through the openness

in our hearts,

of our sex,

and with our bodies

[codes from my last moon]

Applications for my 1:1 are open…

Your feminine wants more, wants bigger, wants better. She wants it harder & faster & deeper.

Let’s give her want she...

Money codes money codes money codes

Currency flows where we see

and where we don’t see

We pay what we pay

for our mentors

because we get more than the tangible

the visible

the things we see with our own

two human eyes

We up level from their frequency

we receive the energetics of the level they’re holding

For us

For the collective

For their vision

for the mission being birthed through them

Our mentors x coaches

are holding the energetics

the codes

the higher expanded vibrations

that allow us to rise up x step into

our BIGness

In the same way we hold specific codes for our clients

We are all leading each other home

magic everywhere around us

Take time for all the contact you can

stay in your body

breath in the present x the greatness of those around you

Keep holding the energy of your queendom

your domain

your space

Allow it to keep expanding

Claim your space

Claim it wide x big x deep

take up all of it

And allow those around you to rise with the...

Its not the anger thats the problem, its the way we let it run its course through our system

Is it being held in love…without judgement?

& with erotic innocence?

Or are we letting it take us into shadow elements like deflection, blame & projection?

I let myself find my aliveness in the extremes when the extremes find me

I let them run through me

with freedom

I let it fill me & fuel me

rather than drain me

The way its held in my system

is what decides:

drain or fuel

The difference between the two

becomes crystallized

when we take ownership

of our anger

When we r e a l l y

OWN our anger

In an empowered, sovereign way

Our raw,

real

kali shitstorm

destructive

kind of anger

I don’t know about you

But I want to touch the chaos

and feel my surrender

It’s where my exhale lives x breathes

This is shadow work

To know the dark feminine

And to know Her well

To know your chaos

Is to know your power

If you’re ready for Freedom...

...