The Mother Wound

May 20, 2021
The Mother Wound. The Cosmic Mother.
For a long time, I thought men were the hard ones to figure out.
When I sat down in front of the maestros at @soltarahealingcenter, I told them this...
AND that I had recently realized it wasn’t men with the complicated complexity, it was women.
Focusing on my abusive childhood in a therapy session earlier this year, she said, “the dark feminine kept stomping on you”
It landed in a way it hadn’t before.
My female caregiver was my abuser, and my male caregiver didn’t protect.
» shadow expressions of both polarities «
My feminine expression - clothing, nail polish, make up, beauty, boys, play, singing & dancing - were the things I was punished x abused over.
At the time, I had been working with the energy of Kali.
And when she said “the dark feminine kept stomping on you,” I realized Kali’s presence.
Any leftover victimhood energy & resentment left my body,...
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Your little girl was not ashamed of having needs.

May 20, 2021

She was very clear that she had them!

At some point,
there was a decision of defeat.

And she decided she didn’t need to have them.

...that expressing or asking, would have negative consequence.

...maybe even punishment.

These experiences
create belief structures
that create shapes
in our bodies
out of protection.

They lead us to great independence & fierce self responsibility x ownership.

It served, & at times, still serves us well.

In relationship & intimate union, these shapes can keep us outside of the deep intimacy & contact we crave.

The inner protector (what I like to call the inner critic) makes asking for help & leaning on others wrong.


***There’s a difference between needing someone to FILL you vs needing someone to help FULFILL your desires***

In order to have what we want,
sometimes we need things & people.

Calling In Your Ideal Partners & Lovers Workshop is on 5/29!

You’ll get crystal clear on what your needs & desires are to...

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My favorite goddess activating mantras

May 07, 2021


Watch here


The more pleasure I have, the more money I make.

Be so devoted to your desires, you settle for nothing less.

I give & receive love effortlessly.

I own my power & speak my truth.

My body is trustable.

I receive pleasure & abundance easily.

I am connected to my highest knowing.

I love & accept my messiness.

My emotions & sensitivity are my superpowers.

I can be whoever the fuck I want.


There are only FOUR ways to shut off the frontal cortex (fear center)...

Plant medicine
& Orgasms

This is why mantras & affirmations are the magic sauce in my somatic sexology practice!

When you’re in a state of climax, speak the words you want to be your truth.

The louder, the better

Tip: choose mantras that feel a little activating, ones that don’t totally feel like truth yet.

Work with them in your solo pleasure practices & partner play!

How do you S3X MAGIC ?

P.S. we’ll be playing with s3x magic in my upcoming...

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How To Stay Open & Protected

May 07, 2021

As you release the armor around your heart & heal trauma from your body, your centers become open & alive. It’s important to stay protected & know your choices create your safety. Returning to childlike innocence doesn’t mean we trust anything & anyone that sits before us. It means we stay in integrity with our bodies, boundaries & selves. This is how we stay open. Stay out of the lion’s den. **Upcoming workshop ‘Calling In Your Ideal Partners & Lovers’ on 5/29** — comment ‘WORKSHOP’ if you want the details

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Re: The Yearning In Our Feminine Hearts To Be Claimed & Penetrated By The Masculine

May 07, 2021


The guilt & shame you feel from deeply longing for your masculine counterpart, or for your current partner to meet you fully, is not ‘wrong’.

It’s not something to be apologetic for.

It’s also not something you bring to your partner with demanding expectations.

The yearning in your heart, the never-ending desire - it’s part of us, built into the feminine psyche.

As empowered women, we are told from our mothers, sisters, friends & media:

“Don’t need a man”
“Never rely on them”
“Be independent”

And if you don’t follow this path, it’s made clear that you will be ‘less than’ & quite foolish for leaning on the security & provision of a man.

In this modern feminist world, it’s a grand idea & very feasible.

I mean, look at your life & the success you’ve created without a man by your side.

Pretty awesome when just 60 years ago we couldn’t even open a bank...

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Onward home..

May 07, 2021

Today, I head back to home base [Denver] after 2 months of travel, with so much gained & an equal amount released

I found that journal entry (end of reel - hold down to read) from Dec 31 ‘20 — with an intention of knowing myself outside of my biz

The ping came forward after 3 years of hard work on mySelf/biz & lots of dedication to my vision

Separating myself from the things I’ve worked so hard to attain (apartment, nice things filling my apartment, friends, community, dogs, partner, clothes, supplements, car, etc.) was activating & highly sensational

I’m grateful for a business that gives me the freedom to explore mySelf anywhere

and for the people, places & things that bring me more home to myself, through both alignment & contrast

Thank you for coming along with me on my travels

I’m so excited to ground home & start a new chapter

So much to come

It’s all happening

How do you relate to purpose & business? Do you link them...

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Reasons we don't feel safe in our bodies-

May 07, 2021

Unprocessed trauma & childhood events


Previously it was not safe to live in our bodies


Leading us to live in survival mode, fight flight fawn freeze responses


Single events AND repeated experiences that threaten our safety


Both ‘T’ & ‘t’ traumas


Including physical & sexual safety AND psychological safety


…Like being free from emotional abuse & neglect


Remember: Being safe is different than FEELING safe


You CAN heal & come home to your body <3



For a long time, I didn’t WANT to come home to my body.


Growing up in an abusive environment left me disassociated, disconnected from my center, & scared of actually coming back home.


...Because home was never safe.


Feeling didn’t feel good.


And in order to have my homecoming, I needed to start feeling again.


…both the dark & the light…



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7 mistakes I made in coming home to my body.

May 07, 2021

Watch here- 


1 - Not letting myself feel the goodness x bliss in the contracting emotions (anger, sorrow, grief, etc.)


2 - Seeking to understand instead of simply feeling


3- Shaming myself for being in my masculine/ yong (especially in relationship w. men) like it’s less than


4- Pressure to have a self pleasure practice E V E R Y D A Y


5- Thinking there was a ‘right way’ to do it


6- And I had to execute it ‘perfectly’


7- Trying to do it ALONE


You’re doing so well.


You’re in exactly the right place, at the right time, with the right people.


You are meant to feel the DUALITY on this human journey.


And you’re not meant to do it alone.

Keep feeling the ups & downs, the highs & lows, the yin & yong, the expansion & contraction.

It’s so perfect for you.

I love it all, for you :)

Drop one thing you are CELEBRATING about your perceived...

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Letter to my inner child:

Apr 26, 2021

Last week in Blissness x Pleasure Mastermind, we wrote a letter to our inner child & had a sister in the group read it to us in front of the group.

It was so sweet, activating, emotional

Letter to my inner child:

You’re allowed to have needs. Your needs are valid, heard, honored & met.

You didn’t do anything wrong.
Nothing is wrong with you.

You’re not here to doubt yourself. You’re here to question the outside world.

You are so loved. Just the way you are.

You are worthy of all the love & affection in the world.

Play, dance, sing.

Play, dance, sing, be free.

Play, dance, sing, be loud.

I love your self expression.

I love when you stand-in your authenticity, even what it isn’t what I want you to do or agree with.

Be okay with letting go of people, places & things as you grow x expand.

Nothing is permanent.

When things leave you or you leave them, remember who you are.

Listen to your body.

It’s so trustable.

You are trustable.

You always get what you...

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Tips for Accessing and Releasing Anger

Apr 26, 2021


If you find yourself shying away from anger, do an INVENTORY CHECK (in the mind x body)

WHERE do you get STUCK in your body when you try to access & express this emotion?

What thoughts come up?
What’s the story in your head?
What’s REALLY holding you back from going there?Where do you feel it in your body?

Most of the time with clients, I see ‘blockages’ accessing anger because of societal conditioning.

(Check previous reels / posts for more on this)

The anger is there (TRUST ME)
It’s just buried deep underneath the surface

And an ego that loves to deliciously make stories around, ‘why you shouldn’t be mad’ or ‘here’s the silver lining’

Bleh. Silver linings are great.

I’m a Queen at making them

But they’re also a straight shot to spiritual bypassing

Your anger is V A L I D

It doesn’t need to carry shame

It’s not something to fix

It’s Eros in raw form

Love in action [Passion]


When we...

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