Maintaining the persona of ‘๐๐จ๐จ๐ฅ, ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฆ, ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐๐ญ๐๐’ womxn in front of the other in hard conversations limits the availability for intimacy in the moment
For a long time,
I wasn’t even aware I did this
Or that there was another way of relating because this pattern of attachment was developed so early on in childhood…like all of ours did
I’ve been working with this part of myself, specifically ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ ๐น๐ถ๐๐ฒ๐ ๐ถ๐ป ๐บ๐ ๐ฏ๐ผ๐ฑ๐, these last couple weeks, as I’m in launch mode for my 1:1 coaching
(working with attachment styles in relation to business is super helpful)
This dance between a deep desire to be seen, & hiding in my room because the outside world isn’t safe, is a young young part of me that lives under my right armpit
She’s familiar
I know her
And she gets scared when big things are happening
I lifted my right arm to expose this part of my body in front of my therapist...
Feeling ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐๐ถ๐๐๐ฎ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ to structure & form
Is less about the ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ & ๐๐๐๐
And more about
The integration
With the rest
of Who You Are
< a pleasure seeking erotic goddess >
When things, especially our business,
Feel hard & draining
Ask yourself:
Where are you not allowing yourself the full range of your expression?
When we feel resistance
It’s because ๐๐๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐๐ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐๐ฒ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐
The integration
-a unification of the two-
And Recognizing them as one in the same
Allows us to be All of it at once
And None of it at the same time
If you sometimes feel like a pleasure, flowy, junkie who just can’t get anything done…
It’s probably because you’re not allowing yourself to have pleasure be PART OF your life
We live in a world that says
๐ง๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ mix biz with pleasure
But I disagree :)
And ever since dismantling that program,
and...
I moved to Denver less than 3 years ago with no paying clients, thousands in CC debt, no car, 2 dogs & a deal with my brother to meal prep in exchange for rent because I didn’t have anything else.
I was working hard to move my successful in-person biz online, but my personal life kept getting in the way.
I ended an extremely abusive relationship when I got here. But 2 weeks later found out I was pregnant.
For the couple years prior, the body dysmorphia & eating disorders I struggled with my whole life, got really bad from competing in the fitness industry.
I was also quietly fighting substance abuse & a pattern of partners that ended with court orders of protection. Yes, more than 2.
It wasn’t pretty.
But I was relentless on my pursuit for inner freedom, impact, purpose, wealth, success & epic love.
I always knew I was meant for more & that these parts of my journey were the roadmap to my success.
What...
Okay, it was way more than ‘that one time’ ;)
But wowza, did I wish I knew the goldmine that was under there from the start…
The way we show up in the bedroom, is the way we show up in every other area of our lives.
As I’ve grown my biz into the multiple 6 figure range over the last 3 years, it has revealed to me, over & over, where I was either available, or ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฉ available, for ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐.
When I first started my biz (as a holistic health coach + boxing/yoga teacher 10 years ago), like many of our relationships start, it was ๐จ๐ช๐ง๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐ซ๐๐ก.
There was more focus on the external, the image, the identity piece, the ‘am I really this?, ‘how can I be more of this?’ Kind of thing.
As the years went on,
my relationship to my biz changed.
Some moments were great. Filled with love, secure attachment & receiving.
Other years were, ๐ป๐ผ๐.
When I fell out with myself,
my biz...
the more you strengthen your ‘no’
the more ๐ง๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ you become
because your ‘๐ฃ๐ค’
is really just your ‘๐ฎ๐๐จ’
you’re a ๐๐๐๐๐๐
constantly attracting
creating
& calling in
๐ฐ๐น๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ถ๐๐
is ๐๐ค๐จ๐ข๐๐ ๐๐ช๐ง๐ง๐๐ฃ๐๐ฎ
the yoniverse
doesn’t care what language you use
she cares
about the ๐๐ง๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐ญ๐ข๐๐ฌ
you hold
the more ๐ฃ๐ค’๐จ you have
the stronger your field gets
this makes you ๐ฆ๐๐ ๐ง๐๐ญ๐ข๐ as ever
and a really strong receiver
for your heart’s deepest desires
so
keep your awareness on ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
energetically hold ๐๐๐๐ vision
embody ๐๐๐๐ highest self
to crystalize your reality
let your no’s
be your roadmap
to the bigger
creation
at play
a deeper conversation on this subject with a breakdown to implement & optimize is on a brand new solocast on The Reclamation Project on iTunes / Spotify!
It’s always right there showing us, through its natural function, how to take what is already inside of us, out into the world.
Excretion
Secretion
Emoting
Child birth
Erection
Orgasm
Building muscle
These functions teach us to live in harmony with both the ecosystem within, & around us.
Examples:
Arousal: Under the Erotic Blueprint framework, I’m an Energetic Shapeshifter (links in bio to take the quiz). This means slow, anticipatory touch gets be hot, wet, & ready. Too much too fast usually makes me shut off & lose my turn on.
My body literally THRIVES on less is more.
For me, this is how I operate in biz x life. Less is more. The more I slow down & the more I stay present in my body, the more pleasure, wealth, success I create.
Orgasm: generally speaking - there’s quite the build up, climax, & come down. After a roller coaster like that, the body needs some stillness & rest.
Same in life. We have a launch, a big event in biz...
As we move
From a
๐ด๐
To a
๐๐
Society
The healing
Goes from
๐๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐
To
๐๐จ๐ ๐๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ
It’s easy to know ourselves
in the comfort of our own space
But in community
There are edges
And THAT
is what we must press up against
for a new level of Self
What’s been helpful for you in getting into communal space after deep self work?
How we walk around in our sex
is a great tell
for whats happening everywhere else
Clenched, bracing
pulling in
up
holding
breathing in
breathing in
sipping
tightening up
This doesn’t feel good
anywhere in our body
Holding our sex in that way
to me, is like holding our breath in, to life
Constantly taking in
for other
rather than receiving
for self
They are different
One is in ego
and the other
in truth
To relax
to open
in our sex
is to relax
to open
to life
When we are bracing, clenching, holding
we are cutting off
from the flow of erotic creation
that wants to be unleashed
from within
As receivers,
we have to open the gates to allow
the more
This happens
when we
relax
let go
and let God
Through the openness
in our hearts,
of our sex,
and with our bodies
[codes from my last moon]
Applications for my 1:1 are open…
Your feminine wants more, wants bigger, wants better. She wants it harder & faster & deeper.
Let’s give her want she...
Money codes money codes money codes
Currency flows where we see
and where we don’t see
We pay what we pay
for our mentors
because we get more than the tangible
the visible
the things we see with our own
two human eyes
We up level from their frequency
we receive the energetics of the level they’re holding
For us
For the collective
For their vision
for the mission being birthed through them
Our mentors x coaches
are holding the energetics
the codes
the higher expanded vibrations
that allow us to rise up x step into
our BIGness
In the same way we hold specific codes for our clients
We are all leading each other home
magic everywhere around us
Take time for all the contact you can
stay in your body
breath in the present x the greatness of those around you
Keep holding the energy of your queendom
your domain
your space
Allow it to keep expanding
Claim your space
Claim it wide x big x deep
take up all of it
And allow those around you to rise with the...
Its not the anger thats the problem, its the way we let it run its course through our system
Is it being held in love…without judgement?
& with erotic innocence?
Or are we letting it take us into shadow elements like deflection, blame & projection?
I let myself find my aliveness in the extremes when the extremes find me
I let them run through me
with freedom
I let it fill me & fuel me
rather than drain me
The way its held in my system
is what decides:
drain or fuel
The difference between the two
becomes crystallized
when we take ownership
of our anger
When we r e a l l y
OWN our anger
In an empowered, sovereign way
Our raw,
real
kali shitstorm
destructive
kind of anger
I don’t know about you
But I want to touch the chaos
and feel my surrender
It’s where my exhale lives x breathes
This is shadow work
To know the dark feminine
And to know Her well
To know your chaos
Is to know your power
If you’re ready for Freedom...
...
50% Complete
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