Healing happens when we experience something different

 

Maintaining the persona of ‘𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐥, 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐦, 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝’ womxn in front of the other in hard conversations limits the availability for intimacy in the moment

 

For a long time,

I wasn’t even aware I did this

 

Or that there was another way of relating because this pattern of attachment was developed so early on in childhood…like all of ours did

 

I’ve been working with this part of myself, specifically 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆, these last couple weeks, as I’m in launch mode for my 1:1 coaching

 

(working with attachment styles in relation to business is super helpful)

 

This dance between a deep desire to be seen, & hiding in my room because the outside world isn’t safe, is a young young part of me that lives under my right armpit

 

She’s familiar

I know her

 

And she gets scared when big things are happening

 

I lifted my right arm to expose this part of my body in front of my therapist yesterday

 

She was tender, real, youthful, with a lot of sadness to release

 

I oscillated between this exposed position on my right side, to a side bend on my left while covering my eyes & face

 

Back x forth I went

 

Hiding, exposed

Hiding, exposed

Hiding, exposed

 

…A beautiful example of parts work

 

Fragments of mySelf, trying to maintain safety, bickering & talking over with one another, fighting for the mic, trying to make sense of it all

 

 

**Healing happens when we experience something different**

 

Like exposure once resulting in harm

To a regulated nervous system around vulnerability, to be better able to handle, respond & open to intimacy

 

Reflective Q’s:

Where has it been unsafe for you to be seen?

Where does that live in your body?

What do you do when you feel that lack of safety?

How do you respond x react?

What parts of yourself go UP & need attention?

 

If this style of attachment resonates, be mindful of the part that might come in saying, “you don’t need others, you don’t need intimacy”, especially as you start to open.

 

Let those parts know it’s safe.

Show them why.

Ask them what they need.

Cultivate safe spaces to re-pattern your nervous system.

 

And, start to let those parts be seen BEFORE you have it all figured out.

 

Remember:

 

When we go in armored,

we’re not giving others a chance to lower theirs.

 

When we lead with a heart centered approach,

we open the space for others to drop into love with us.