When he’s touching your body

& it feels really good,

but you can’t get out of your head

because you want it a little bit slower,

a little more sensual,

-maybe even a nibble right on that spot you like-

…but you don’t say it

because you don’t wanna ‘𝙧𝙪𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙤𝙙’

**you’re leaving 𝗲𝗰𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘀𝘆 on the table**

(And believe you, he wants that)

When you’re on that enrollment call with a potential soul client

& you feel her fear-based blocks come up,

but you don’t say the thing your naughty intuition is screaming at you to shout

because you don’t want to ‘𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟𝐟’

**you’re leaving 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 on the table**

(And believe you, that’s why she’ll pay you)

That thing you really want to say,

is the thing that’ll really turn them ON!

It’s your magic sauce that sets you apart from...

The other part of this story has been the overall transformation of my physical body from the time I started somatic work until now

I said I worked my whole life for this body

& I did

But a deepest learning, was the 𝙥𝙝𝙮𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙛𝙩𝙨 that occurred when the other layers of mySelf were nurtured x tended to

When I look in the mirror now
I see the body I always wanted

But it didn’t come from muscling or forcing
my way into it, like my really familiar previous course

It came from bringing the dark parts of my subconscious, into the light

I had to first DECIDE I was done with the struggle & the fight

I needed to put down my weapons

& then get my body onboard

I was
& am a warrior

But she’s no longer the only active part

I brought my soft, sweet, tender feminine back online

Through hours x hours of being with her

**Understanding, acceptance, forgiveness, loving, redefining**

Feeling
Feeling
Feeling
And more
Feeling

Our relationship has shifted & deepened over...

Let’s face it, SOMATICS is the new black

& there’s a big reason why

It’s real, it’s fast, it’s deep

& it 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀

But I want to tell you that nothing will 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 fix or heal you or keep hard things from happening

Not just because you’re 𝐢𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞

But bc life will 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 continue to happen

Somatic experiencing & embodiment, for myself & clients, has transformed the way we sit in our beingness, & in turn, 𝗱𝗼 life

While magic it is, we’re still the 𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙣𝙨

Magic requires belief, commitment, devotion, love, trust, surrender & feeling

It also requires a 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙥 𝙤𝙛 𝙛𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙝

This kind of wizardry does not depend on what is seen

It depends on blind faith

𝐁𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡 to the eye,

but 𝗯𝗶𝗴 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵 to the soul

Lately, I’ve seen a lot of womxn walk up to the plate, & then run the other direction

& truthfully, doing big...

The pressure of not fulfilling my potential & soul’s mission was c r i p p l i n g me, everyday.

Not because I didn’t believe in myself or know I was 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 meant to do big things,

but because the FEELING of living this big life

**having the passionate, epic love I dreamed of, traveling the world, making buckets of money, & helping womxn do the same**

was a 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐫 away ‘felt sense’.

It was true in my mind,

but definitely not true in my body.

Honestly, I was really fucking confused.

I did everything I was told to do. And when those didn’t work, I found alternatives that worked better.

So why this 𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙠?

All the work I was doing, while it really did help, still wasn’t getting deep enough into my 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬.

...which lives in the BODY.

Cycles repeated, certain behaviors remained, an unconscious sense of 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 spewed out when no one was...

(You haven’t heard this version x ending)

The hardest thing I ever worked for in my life was this body.

I entered the coaching space 10 years ago @ 19.

I thought I did it because it was ‘𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪’ & I was super passionate about health x fitness.

But deep down, I always knew it was a career built on a shaky sense of worthiness - defined by my external beauty & the ‘success’ the world told me to have - & a strive for absolute perfection.

I was 21 when I got diagnosed with 𝘀𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗳𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗴𝘂𝗲 from years of overtraining & extreme dieting.

I thought being raw vegan was the best way to do food. So I stopped listening to my body & followed the instructions.

I healed from that.

But 23, I started competing.

I lost all of my holistic practices & gained the bro diet.

I used PED’s, adderall, & drugs to support myself.

I had no cycle, gut issues, eating disorders & a lot of self hatred.

But I did really well in...

Say something about my nipples. I dare you.

I get a lot of questions from women about unwanted attention from men.

Like:

‘I want to be sexually liberated.

‘I want to stand in my power.

‘But men scare me.

‘I feel unsafe around them.

I GET YOU.

I felt unsafe in my sexual body most of my life.

I’m gonna say 2 really edgy things:

Ready?

1 Somewhere inside of you, prob deep in your subconscious, you 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 it. In fact, dare I say, you 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 it.

2 We can’t wait for men to respect us to stand in our erotic freedom.

That shit is 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔.

Before panties bunch, I’m not talking about violent sexual attacks, harassment, & abuse.

What I’m highlighting is the deep rooted desire of our feminine hearts for male attention & gaze.

That. Is. Beautiful.

Modern day feminism has smashed on us for even wanting that, telling us to

need no man.

Bleh....

To tell it like it is…

Nothing turns a 𝘀𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗻 womxn on more, than an honoring of her boundaries, space, & Self

When I get that…

“Hey babe, call me when you have a sec” text

over a random call in the middle of my workday

I’m 𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙡𝙮 turned on.

I feel respected, my time is valued & he gets the importance of my work flow.

I don’t know when boundaries became such a downer…

(it’s probably when 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁 got tossed out the window)

but I want to remind you that they’re actually the complete opposite.

Boundaries are a tool to be used for:

***greater intimacy, deeper love & hotter sex***

When someone asks you permission to touch your p*ssy, tell me again how 𝘄𝗲𝘁 it makes you

(that’s what I thought)

Q: Why would any other boundary be different?

These sacred agreements — to be made in & out of the bedroom...

While I used to really love the idea of boundaries, because they’re incredibly self serving (can you tell I’m a virgo?), I really only loved just that…

the IDEA

The rebel inside of me

loved to play with fire

& loved the drama of:

xx having them & not having them

xx having them & having them be broken

xx having them, letting them be broken & then playing like a pig in shit when the shit storm came

When I dismantled these internal systems,

Awakened these lost parts of mySelf

& found my own agency,

Boundaries became a SPORT.

xx How can I use boundaries to have better relationships?

xx How can I use boundaries to bring more erotic energy in?

I shifted from looking at boundary setting as:

setting boundaries with others

TO

setting boundaries with the Self in RELATION to others

Standing in your Truth isn’t just about Knowing who you are & speaking up.

It’s about the...

You’re doing too much. 

If the 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜 keeps saying, “you’re not doing enough” & it feels like you can never get ahead,

it’s probably 𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 about what you’re 𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 & 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 about there being **too much on your plate**, with way too high of an 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 to do it ALL.

The way I see it…

The problem is not in how many pieces of the puzzle.

The problem is in how many 𝗽𝗶𝗲𝗰𝗲𝘀 you’re trying to complete at the 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚.

(without any support, team, partners in crime)

Generally, unless it’s one of those bitch ass iridescent puzzles, you can fairly simply complete a 200, 500, or 1000 piece puzzle.

The more pieces, the longer it’ll take.

But, you get it done.

Whereas, 5 puzzles by yourself is probably gonna be a hot mess.

My fellow 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 womxn who are used to basing their worth off of accomplishments & ‘doing-ness’, remember...

The game of manifestation

is a game of devotion

If we’re walking around

saying we want one thing

But settling for the next best thing

that comes through our door

𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒆𝒗𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒆?

Expansion & next level Becoming

requires trust in what will be yours

Because inside of you

« It’s 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 yours »

Just like its already yours

out there in the 𝙦𝙪𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙪𝙢

This is how I’ve created the life I have now

...through endless devotion to the next level, the ultimate vision - without second guessing or letting the fear take over

This is not the time for wishy washy decisions

It’s a time to commit to your vision

to the gifts you were given

So, come into trust

& let down the ego’s fuss

If you want it

then decide already

And be courageous enough

to settle for 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 less

And when the doubt creeps in

(Because it will)

Remember you were...