While I used to really love the idea of boundaries, because they’re incredibly self serving (can you tell I’m a virgo?), I really only loved just that…
The rebel inside of me
loved to play with fire
& loved the drama of:
xx having them & not having them
xx having them & having them be broken
xx having them, letting them be broken & then playing like a pig in shit when the shit storm came
When I dismantled these internal systems,
Awakened these lost parts of mySelf
& found my own agency,
Boundaries became a SPORT.
xx How can I use boundaries to have better relationships?
xx How can I use boundaries to bring more erotic energy in?
I shifted from looking at boundary setting as:
setting boundaries with others
setting boundaries with the Self in RELATION to others
Standing in your Truth isn’t just about Knowing who you are & speaking up.
It’s about the...
You’re doing too much.
If the 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜 keeps saying, “you’re not doing enough” & it feels like you can never get ahead,
it’s probably 𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 about what you’re 𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 & 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 about there being **too much on your plate**, with way too high of an 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 to do it ALL.
The way I see it…
The problem is not in how many pieces of the puzzle.
The problem is in how many 𝗽𝗶𝗲𝗰𝗲𝘀 you’re trying to complete at the 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚.
(without any support, team, partners in crime)
Generally, unless it’s one of those bitch ass iridescent puzzles, you can fairly simply complete a 200, 500, or 1000 piece puzzle.
The more pieces, the longer it’ll take.
But, you get it done.
Whereas, 5 puzzles by yourself is probably gonna be a hot mess.
My fellow 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 womxn who are used to basing their worth off of accomplishments & ‘doing-ness’, remember...
The game of manifestation
is a game of devotion
If we’re walking around
saying we want one thing
But settling for the next best thing
that comes through our door
𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒆𝒗𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒆?
Expansion & next level Becoming
requires trust in what will be yours
Because inside of you
« It’s 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 yours »
Just like its already yours
out there in the 𝙦𝙪𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙪𝙢
This is how I’ve created the life I have now
...through endless devotion to the next level, the ultimate vision - without second guessing or letting the fear take over
This is not the time for wishy washy decisions
It’s a time to commit to your vision
to the gifts you were given
So, come into trust
& let down the ego’s fuss
If you want it
then decide already
And be courageous enough
to settle for 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 less
And when the doubt creeps in
(Because it will)
Remember you were...
It felt as good as a 𝐰𝐞𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦
…when she asked the 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 of my work
I’m here supporting conscious, powerful, purpose driven womxn to create safety & freedom in their body
By emoting & getting in touch with your
primal wild womxn
you release 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆 in the body & dismantle internal systems to take you out of survival mode & 𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗼𝗰𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗽𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹
I guide you home to your 𝒇𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒆
to live in the fullness of your being
to feel the spectrum of your emotions & sensitivity (ALIVENESS x connection to Source)
to be in your BIGness - your BEINGness
to 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝗮𝘁 & 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿
to bring you into full Remembrance of who you really are
to soften into your tender, open heart for deep levels of 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙖𝙘𝙮
I’m here supporting you in 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 your inner mother, father, lover, God
I stand for your full expression
I want you as BIG & as LOUD as you can be
I woke up yesterday with my bleed right on time, to the day. The same 29 day cycle as the months before.
Natural bloating, slight cramps, a little bit of fatigue, and a strong pull to go inward.
Hello, inner winter
After struggling with hormonal imbalances from birth control & amenorrhea (period loss) from years of disordered eating, overtraining, & adrenal fatigue…
having a period, let alone, an 𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙮, predictable, fairly symptom-free one, wasn’t something I initially believed in.
But over the years, as I’ve come more & more home to my body & my being,
I’ve learned to 𝗯𝗮𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝘀𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗺 & 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻𝘀 to work WITH my hormones in a super advantageous way.
My cycle used to be something I ignored & didn’t care much about.
It was…. 𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜.
Know what I mean?
Now, it’s something that’s become an integral part to my:
Maintaining the persona of ‘𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐥, 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐦, 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝’ womxn in front of the other in hard conversations limits the availability for intimacy in the moment
For a long time,
I wasn’t even aware I did this
Or that there was another way of relating because this pattern of attachment was developed so early on in childhood…like all of ours did
I’ve been working with this part of myself, specifically 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆, these last couple weeks, as I’m in launch mode for my 1:1 coaching
(working with attachment styles in relation to business is super helpful)
This dance between a deep desire to be seen, & hiding in my room because the outside world isn’t safe, is a young young part of me that lives under my right armpit
I know her
And she gets scared when big things are happening
I lifted my right arm to expose this part of my body in front of my therapist...
Feeling 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 to structure & form
Is less about the 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 & 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒎
And more about
With the rest
of Who You Are
< a pleasure seeking erotic goddess >
When things, especially our business,
Feel hard & draining
Where are you not allowing yourself the full range of your expression?
When we feel resistance
It’s because 𝘁𝘄𝗼 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝗱𝗱𝘀
-a unification of the two-
And Recognizing them as one in the same
Allows us to be All of it at once
And None of it at the same time
If you sometimes feel like a pleasure, flowy, junkie who just can’t get anything done…
It’s probably because you’re not allowing yourself to have pleasure be PART OF your life
We live in a world that says
𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 mix biz with pleasure
But I disagree :)
And ever since dismantling that program,
I moved to Denver less than 3 years ago with no paying clients, thousands in CC debt, no car, 2 dogs & a deal with my brother to meal prep in exchange for rent because I didn’t have anything else.
I was working hard to move my successful in-person biz online, but my personal life kept getting in the way.
I ended an extremely abusive relationship when I got here. But 2 weeks later found out I was pregnant.
For the couple years prior, the body dysmorphia & eating disorders I struggled with my whole life, got really bad from competing in the fitness industry.
I was also quietly fighting substance abuse & a pattern of partners that ended with court orders of protection. Yes, more than 2.
It wasn’t pretty.
But I was relentless on my pursuit for inner freedom, impact, purpose, wealth, success & epic love.
I always knew I was meant for more & that these parts of my journey were the roadmap to my success.
Okay, it was way more than ‘that one time’ ;)
But wowza, did I wish I knew the goldmine that was under there from the start…
The way we show up in the bedroom, is the way we show up in every other area of our lives.
As I’ve grown my biz into the multiple 6 figure range over the last 3 years, it has revealed to me, over & over, where I was either available, or 𝙣𝙤𝙩 available, for 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞.
When I first started my biz (as a holistic health coach + boxing/yoga teacher 10 years ago), like many of our relationships start, it was 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙡.
There was more focus on the external, the image, the identity piece, the ‘am I really this?, ‘how can I be more of this?’ Kind of thing.
As the years went on,
my relationship to my biz changed.
Some moments were great. Filled with love, secure attachment & receiving.
Other years were, 𝗻𝗼𝘁.
When I fell out with myself,
the more you strengthen your ‘no’
the more 𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 you become
because your ‘𝙣𝙤’
is really just your ‘𝙮𝙚𝙨’
you’re a 𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒏𝒆𝒕
& calling in
is 𝙘𝙤𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙘 𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙮
doesn’t care what language you use
about the 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬
the more 𝙣𝙤’𝙨 you have
the stronger your field gets
this makes you 𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 as ever
and a really strong receiver
for your heart’s deepest desires
keep your awareness on 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒊𝒆𝒍𝒅
energetically hold 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 vision
embody 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 highest self
to crystalize your reality
let your no’s
be your roadmap
to the bigger
a deeper conversation on this subject with a breakdown to implement & optimize is on a brand new solocast on The Reclamation Project on iTunes / Spotify!