When we go into relationships without being clear in who we are, what we want, or what we stand for, we leave a lot of room for things to get 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙮!
We stretch ourselves into situations we don’t really want to be in (or ones we don’t feel 𝙨𝙖𝙛𝙚 in) & we tell ourselves we’re 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 to handle it anyway.
(I was the Queen of this!)
our hearts close,
& we feel like we’ve been taken advantage of.
(Watch my last IGTV for more on *how to stay open & protected*)
When the truth of it is, we never even set our boundaries in the first place.
We play the game of:
“Will they love me more if I sacrifice myself?”
“Will they give back everything I give them?”
“Will they see how much I care if I do this?”
“Will they stay if I chose them over me?”
We play coy with our boundaries, while internally, we are DYING for them to just GUESS it right.
We are setting them up for 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘶𝘳𝘦
We are setting them up to be...
She was very clear that she had them!
At some point,
there was a decision of defeat.
And she decided she didn’t need to have them.
...that expressing or asking, would have negative consequence.
...maybe even punishment.
create belief structures
that create shapes
in our bodies
out of protection.
They lead us to great independence & fierce self responsibility x ownership.
It served, & at times, still serves us well.
In relationship & intimate union, these shapes can keep us outside of the deep intimacy & contact we crave.
The inner protector (what I like to call the inner critic) makes asking for help & leaning on others wrong.
***There’s a difference between needing someone to FILL you vs needing someone to help FULFILL your desires***
In order to have what we want,
sometimes we need things & people.
Calling In Your Ideal Partners & Lovers Workshop is on 5/29!
You’ll get crystal clear on what your needs & desires are to...
The more pleasure I have, the more money I make.
Be so devoted to your desires, you settle for nothing less.
I give & receive love effortlessly.
I own my power & speak my truth.
My body is trustable.
I receive pleasure & abundance easily.
I am connected to my highest knowing.
I love & accept my messiness.
My emotions & sensitivity are my superpowers.
I can be whoever the fuck I want.
There are only FOUR ways to shut off the frontal cortex (fear center)...
This is why mantras & affirmations are the magic sauce in my somatic sexology practice!
When you’re in a state of climax, speak the words you want to be your truth.
The louder, the better
Tip: choose mantras that feel a little activating, ones that don’t totally feel like truth yet.
Work with them in your solo pleasure practices & partner play!
How do you S3X MAGIC ?
P.S. we’ll be playing with s3x magic in my upcoming...
As you release the armor around your heart & heal trauma from your body, your centers become open & alive. It’s important to stay protected & know your choices create your safety. Returning to childlike innocence doesn’t mean we trust anything & anyone that sits before us. It means we stay in integrity with our bodies, boundaries & selves. This is how we stay open. Stay out of the lion’s den. **Upcoming workshop ‘Calling In Your Ideal Partners & Lovers’ on 5/29** — comment ‘WORKSHOP’ if you want the details
The guilt & shame you feel from deeply longing for your masculine counterpart, or for your current partner to meet you fully, is not ‘wrong’.
It’s not something to be apologetic for.
It’s also not something you bring to your partner with demanding expectations.
The yearning in your heart, the never-ending desire - it’s part of us, built into the feminine psyche.
As empowered women, we are told from our mothers, sisters, friends & media:
“Don’t need a man”
“Never rely on them”
And if you don’t follow this path, it’s made clear that you will be ‘less than’ & quite foolish for leaning on the security & provision of a man.
In this modern feminist world, it’s a grand idea & very feasible.
I mean, look at your life & the success you’ve created without a man by your side.
Pretty awesome when just 60 years ago we couldn’t even open a bank...
Today, I head back to home base [Denver] after 2 months of travel, with so much gained & an equal amount released
I found that journal entry (end of reel - hold down to read) from Dec 31 ‘20 — with an intention of knowing myself outside of my biz
The ping came forward after 3 years of hard work on mySelf/biz & lots of dedication to my vision
Separating myself from the things I’ve worked so hard to attain (apartment, nice things filling my apartment, friends, community, dogs, partner, clothes, supplements, car, etc.) was activating & highly sensational
I’m grateful for a business that gives me the freedom to explore mySelf anywhere
and for the people, places & things that bring me more home to myself, through both alignment & contrast
Thank you for coming along with me on my travels
I’m so excited to ground home & start a new chapter
So much to come
It’s all happening
How do you relate to purpose & business? Do you link them...
Unprocessed trauma & childhood events
Previously it was not safe to live in our bodies
Leading us to live in survival mode, fight flight fawn freeze responses
Single events AND repeated experiences that threaten our safety
Both ‘T’ & ‘t’ traumas
Including physical & sexual safety AND psychological safety
…Like being free from emotional abuse & neglect
Remember: Being safe is different than FEELING safe
You CAN heal & come home to your body <3
For a long time, I didn’t WANT to come home to my body.
Growing up in an abusive environment left me disassociated, disconnected from my center, & scared of actually coming back home.
...Because home was never safe.
Feeling didn’t feel good.
And in order to have my homecoming, I needed to start feeling again.
…both the dark & the light…
1 - Not letting myself feel the goodness x bliss in the contracting emotions (anger, sorrow, grief, etc.)
2 - Seeking to understand instead of simply feeling
3- Shaming myself for being in my masculine/ yong (especially in relationship w. men) like it’s less than
4- Pressure to have a self pleasure practice E V E R Y D A Y
5- Thinking there was a ‘right way’ to do it
6- And I had to execute it ‘perfectly’
7- Trying to do it ALONE
You’re doing so well.
You’re in exactly the right place, at the right time, with the right people.
You are meant to feel the DUALITY on this human journey.
And you’re not meant to do it alone.
Keep feeling the ups & downs, the highs & lows, the yin & yong, the expansion & contraction.
It’s so perfect for you.
I love it all, for you :)
Drop one thing you are CELEBRATING about your perceived...
Last week in Blissness x Pleasure Mastermind, we wrote a letter to our inner child & had a sister in the group read it to us in front of the group.
It was so sweet, activating, emotional
Letter to my inner child:
You’re allowed to have needs. Your needs are valid, heard, honored & met.
You didn’t do anything wrong.
Nothing is wrong with you.
You’re not here to doubt yourself. You’re here to question the outside world.
You are so loved. Just the way you are.
You are worthy of all the love & affection in the world.
Play, dance, sing.
Play, dance, sing, be free.
Play, dance, sing, be loud.
I love your self expression.
I love when you stand-in your authenticity, even what it isn’t what I want you to do or agree with.
Be okay with letting go of people, places & things as you grow x expand.
Nothing is permanent.
When things leave you or you leave them, remember who you are.
Listen to your body.
It’s so trustable.
You are trustable.
You always get what you...