sometimes i forget my story

i’m so far from the mindset & energy i used to have, i genuinely forget that was ME!

it was NOT always like that…

for most of my life, i struggled with anorexia x bulimia. i hated my body & hated the way i looked.

i grew up in an abusive home. i was hit if i had chipped nails. if i didn’t wear my jewelry. or put on a happy face after said abuse.

everything was about image.

except, i was also hit if i was ‘too much’.

i was told over & over again that i was the problem.

i was dragged to church after these happenings for what felt like forced ‘purification’.

my home life, religion & society, taught me from a very young age that i was only lovable when i was perfect.

and definitely not when i was horny ‍

(try telling that to a rebel soul )

i couldn’t figure out, why years later, i had a track record of abusive boyfriends.

why i couldn’t leave after he screamed like that…
why i couldn’t...

an easy way to gauge just how *ready* you really are to receive the things you say you want…

stick with me here…

i work with a lot of women who are on the path to more

< more love more freedom more sex more money >

more to all of it

where i see the most ‘wrong’

is in their *waiting game*

because it literally turns into JUST that,
a waiting game, & nothing more

think about it…

what do YOU do when you’re waiting for something or someone?

do you sit at the window wishing they’d get their faster? do you get frustrated because it’s taking too long?

do you forget to play with every other toy (creation) in your home because you’re so fixated on this other new thing coming in?

do you sit on your phone trying to make it go faster?

do you mindlessly fill your time until the thing you really want comes in?

EVERYTHING,
i repeat,
EVERYTHING you have right now

was once the thing you REALLY wanted to manifest & call in

to be *ready* for our...

can it be easier
can it be more pleasurable
can i integrate my breath more deeply

~ a moment to moment self inquiry ~

p.s. i’ve started a brag thread in my fb group … i kept seeing my sisters do it x my kitty wanted to play too. mama gena readers yk. bio has the link :)

Watch HERE

what if every decision i make, from this moment forward, is sourced from the Truth that i am a GOOD, INNOCENT human?’

i slowly stepped out of the bath Mon morn after sitting w/ mySelf x mushies for mins i lost count of

i walked up to the roof deck to dry off in the sun & was flooded w visions

(the self-inquiry from the week before, quantum physics & @tonyRobbins primary question, stirring it up)

these visions were pointing to all of my life experiences, that i had unconsciously created, where i ‘needed’ to ‘fight’ for my innocence

(started as a child when i needed to prove i was good, in the right, innocent so i could stay safe from the abuse)

…one illusion (abusive relationships) after the next where i needed to prove myself x goodness came into my awareness

in that moment, i realized i collapsed the pattern

earlier this year, i had a long period of forgetting who i really was

i was confused, disappointed, frustrated

how could i forget...

this song hit me in the gym this morning & it reminded me of our often neglected Inner Being screaming for self-intimacy (thats what I’ve been calling self pleasure lately!)

these last couple of months w/out IG,

I’ve been re:connecting to mySelf x Truths
as I’ve gifted myself exxtra long juicy self care time ‍

(& i have super easy tips for you to try!)

my Higher Self strategically created this ‘break’ so I could go inward & download new operating systems (smart girl she is )

spoiler alert: we got them & they’re already rippling out

(p.s. i see SO many of my friends & fellow change-makers going through VERY similar Awakenings - have you noticed that too? industries are changing )

I’ve been sharing the frameworks & perspective shifts that have supported me over on @trppodcast

Here are the latest 4 solo’s:

283: How To Sit With Yourself & What To Do When You Avoid It

282: Top 10 Current Favorite Self Care Tips...

Well well well, look what the cat dragged in

Did you miss me?!

After a few viral reels, my IG @juliannevaccaro got reported for talking about s3x x B D S M x submission.

I was disabled for almost TWO months, without knowing if I’d ever get my account back.

It was a time of delicious darkness

I was invited back into the womb of creation to release what was no longer serving me ((sounds kinda cliche but unplug from the internet & your biz for 2 months & you’ll know what I’m talking about)) & listen to my heart x soul x pu$$y

I have had MAJOR downloads about biz, identity, life, community , relationships, money , what I’m creating, & the new paradigm we’re stepping into as a collective — starting with myself.

I feel so full, at home, nourished, satiated, inspired, & READY to birth this new iteration of myself & business into reality.

I have SO much to say.

And SO much to offer.

I will be doing things VERY differently from...

 remember when he held my hands down above my head & placed a deliciously
firm grip around my neck

I was 𝙨𝙤 into it

But before I knew it
& as fast as the rush of pleasure
came into my body
it was 𝙜𝙤𝙣𝙚

I found myself in a paralyzed state
tears fiercely running down my face
onto the silky bedsheets beneath me

My body 𝙡𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙙.
My heart & p*ssy 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙙.

And while I couldn’t 𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 understand
what was happening

I knew my body was no longer in a state of receptivity
Instead, a state of 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲

This is an example of unprocessed trauma
manifesting in current day blockages

Not only did this happen with power dynamics
it also occurred with:
anything from behind
any sexual act that was rushed into
all conversations that involved s-e-x

This was NOT b/c I
didn’t like it
wasn’t into kink play
was a-sexual
didn’t enjoy sex
didn’t actually love my partner.

(All of which I thought & judged myself over for YEARS.)

It was b/c
I didn’t feel safe in my body
and had...

RED HOT TRUTH

YOUR PARTNER IS NOT THE CO-OWNER OF YOUR BODY

If this truth doesn’t exist in our relationship/s, are they really our 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿/𝘀?

And if not 𝙮𝙤𝙪, who has your body’s back at the end of the day?


The programming of the patriarchy has intentionally brought us further & further away from autonomy in ourselves, & agency in our bodies.

We’ve been TOLD what to do for ages, especially for those of us that don’t hold the privileged white male identity, and double especially for those of us who bleed every month.


It’s taught us that we don’t know what’s best for ourselves or our bodies.

And consent has never been part of the conversation.


TRUTH: Our partners do not just automatically get access to our goodies, whenever & wherever (unless its a consensual agreement - I see you sexuals & kinksters).

There is no title or label that someone gets to have, entitling them to your body, without your consent.


I’ve had lots of client...

Women are not your place for dumping

….Their bodies, hearts or social media accounts.

I find it divinely ironic that from the start of my launch for LOVE SEX MEN, I’ve received nasty comments from men specifically.

Previous versions of me would have felt not good enough, made it about me, armored up, fought back & probably shut down towards the real men in my life.

While there were moments my knees buckled at the cruel words, I never lost the truth in my heart.

That men are good.

And there are good men.

To witness myself anchored in that truth, shows me so much about the inner transformation I’ve had.

When just four years ago, I was leaving yet another abusive relationship.

I collected those like it was just another notch in my belt. Big part of my karma.

For years,

I have hated men.

For years,

I have fought with them.

For years,

I allowed myself to be the dumpster for the unresolved pain & hurt they felt towards their mothers.

For years,

I felt so unsafe around them, that...

Busting Common Sex Myths

#1 Talking about sex does not take away from the magic

But what we make it MEAN about us when they DO // DO NOT pick up on our subtle messages DOES

i. e.
he doesn’t understand my body & my soulmate should def just know so I guess this means he’s not ‘the one’
OR
he makes me squirt as soon as touches my p*ssie he’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner we’re totally meant to be

Gah! No!

Hate to tell you (but actually I love it )…

Sex gets better with practice!

That immediate firework show at the start of a relationship typically implies a trauma bond that’s activating a familiar (often harmful) pattern from childhood

Anyway,

Consent / boundary / desire conversations can be such a TURN ON

I make sure I talk about sex on every first date

Not just because I’m a somatic sexologist…

but because if we’re not sexually/sensually/energetically compatible - what’s the dang point??

Sex...