remember when he held my hands down above my head & placed a deliciously
firm grip around my neck
I was 𝙨𝙤 into it
But before I knew it
& as fast as the rush of pleasure
came into my body
it was 𝙜𝙤𝙣𝙚
I found myself in a paralyzed state
tears fiercely running down my face
onto the silky bedsheets beneath me
My body 𝙡𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙙.
My heart & p*ssy 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙙.
And while I couldn’t 𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 understand
what was happening
I knew my body was no longer in a state of receptivity
Instead, a state of 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲
This is an example of unprocessed trauma
manifesting in current day blockages
Not only did this happen with power dynamics
it also occurred with:
✔️anything from behind
✔️any sexual act that was rushed into
✔️all conversations that involved s-e-x
This was NOT b/c I
✖️didn’t like it
✖️wasn’t into kink play
✖️didn’t enjoy sex
✖️didn’t actually love my partner.
(All of which I thought & judged myself over for YEARS.)
It was b/c
I didn’t feel safe in my body
and had backwards belief systems about
sex x pleasure x men.
Sister, I feel you if you’re moving through this heaviness right now
I want you to know & truly feel this in your body
Sex does not have to feel unsafe
or like your partner is taking something from you
You don’t have to dissociate or judge yourself for having these kinds of experiences — the peak erotic ones you indulge in or the times you’ve ended up in tears
Your body has had many experiences
& its reactions are a result of unhealed memories
You DO NOT need a BIG traumatic event
to have this kind of reaction.
This happens from ‘small’ traumas collected over time.
The wounding continues b/c the self judgement says,
‘𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣’𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙪𝙢𝙖.’
We ALL have trauma.
& yours is worthy of exploration.
If you’re interested in overcoming this lack of safety & awakening your erotic pleasure Goddess to have a wild x free x yummy sex life…
I’ve opened THREE 1:1 COACHING SPOTS.
These containers are for purpose driven women ready to invest in their healing for a palpable, irreversible transformation.
Comment ‘me’ for details!