The Mother Wound

For a long time, I thought men were the hard ones to figure out.

When I sat down in front of the maestros at @soltarahealingcenter, I told them this...

AND that I had recently realized it wasn’t men with the complicated complexity, it was women.

Focusing on my abusive childhood in a therapy session earlier this year, she said, “the dark feminine kept stomping on you”

It landed in a way it hadn’t before.

My female caregiver was my abuser, and my male caregiver didn’t protect.

» shadow expressions of both polarities «

My feminine expression - clothing, nail polish, make up, beauty, boys, play, singing & dancing - were the things I was punished x abused over.

At the time, I had been working with the energy of Kali.

And when she said “the dark feminine kept stomping on you,” I realized Kali’s presence.

Any leftover victimhood energy & resentment left my body, as it shifted to respect.

While Kali is the destroyer of evil, protector of the innocent, she’s ruthless. An expression of nature.

She’s the goddess of death & destruction. Bloodthirsty as she chops off heads.

Blazing everything in her path in support of her mission.

Like nature, she’s full spectrum.

Dark & light.

Loud & unapologetic.

At times, unable to control her passions.

When this sunk in, I felt a reverence to this destructive power that swarmed my early years.

A gift, to be in the line of fire of this sacred expression.

A trust, in the mystery of divine order.

I was able to transmute much of the pain lingering in my system with these understandings.

And call on my own inner mother to fill the gaps.

Regardless of the relationship you have with your mother now, in the physical or heavenly realm...

Know the power you have inside of you to mend the wounds of your inner child & create a bond with the Cosmic Mother.

If today brings you the full spectrum of emotions, what a gift.

To feel the fullness of your human experience, right now in this moment, in this body.

I honor your courage to feel it all.

If it lands for your story, I offer this perspective to create connection & freedom.

Your little girl didn’t deserve it.

She shouldn’t be afraid of power. Her power.

There’s goodness in you.

Time to root to rise.