Nothing was wrong, per say.. But I knew, deep down to my core, that there was MORE.

A year ago this time, we were a couple of months into a lockdown & I just had my biggest launch yet for Awaken Your Divine Feminine.

Just before everything shut down, I broke up with a boyfriend that was seemingly great.

Nothing was wrong, per say..

But I knew, deep down to my core, that there was MORE.

So, at the beginning of a worldwide quarantine, with no toilet paper, my two dachshunds, my coloring books, & a fire in my belly to receive this MORE I couldn’t see but deeply felt,

I left his greatness for unseen ECSTASIS.

Little did I know, I was about to go on a deep journey over the course of the next 8 months.

A summary of that journey…

It was a time of breaking open as I evoked my submissive archetype, healed deep seated wounds of the masculine, integrated my Inner Father, shed religious trauma around authority x obedience, & formed a kinky relationship with God Himself.

It was sPicEYY.

I spent days on my knees crying, facing & feeling the pain I caused men.

Reflecting on the ways I kept my heart guarded, my sex closed, & my appreciation for men to myself.

I saw how my pedestalizing of men was really just my desire to feel God’s love, for all of my erotic desire & the totality of who I was.

After my sacred feminine homecoming, I was still learning to balance my energies.

My feminine was PISSED, at him.

She didn’t trust him.
Or respect him.

And the last thing she wanted to do, was let him lead.

Fuck no!

“After all the pain you’ve caused me? The wrong you’ve done?”

“The way you’ve suppressed women? Tormented our bodies? Disregarded our hearts? Our wisdom? The power of our intuition?”

“The times you’ve left us unprotected? With you, yourself, as the perpetrator?”

“The ways you’ve violated our space? Shamed our body’s natural functions? Wronged our emotions? Stolen our voices? Taken our pleasure?

“The centuries of burning us to the ground?

“How can I trust YOU & your brothers?

VALID.

She raged & rebelled.
Raged & rebelled.
Raged & rebelled.

Eventually, she softened.

She forgave.
She understood.
She saw her part (yes, we’ve played a BIG part).

And she opened her heart, again.

Like, really opened her heart.

Continued👇🏻