i test positive for HSV-1
& so does 2/3 of the population under 5 years of age
note: the statistics are often inaccurate when it comes to viruses:)
...because they can lay dormant & many of us are asymptomatic
it’s hard to know how i/we/any of us have contracted…bc viruses are tricky little things
but my story goes like this
i was rope tied…face down…w a man i deeply trusted to keep me safe in a dom/sub setting
however, in the heat of the moment, for whatever reason
he decided not to use a condom, going against all consent conversations
i was NOT aware
bc i was deep in subspace, w my face pressed into the bed
around a week later…i had my first outbreak & tested positive for HSV-1
i called this man, a deeply trusted figure in the Mens’ Coaching Space - a man that ‘stands’ for integrity, honesty & truth - a man that teaches consent, boundaries x kink
& asked
“did you use a condom?”
he said, “no”
i told him what happened
he told me he had HSV-1
but had only ever had oral outbreaks & didn’t think it was important to share before $exual interaction
so…
i schooled him on HSV-1 x 2
that BOTH can show up AND be transmitted orally or genitally - regardless of how it shows up in YOUR body
i expressed how violated & hurt i felt
i mean really…..
a leader in this space who goes against consent?
a leader who doesn’t think it’s important to clean up their mistakes until confronted with the truth?
🚩RED FLAG 🚩
i’ve spent the last year x a half processing this event…owning my side…learning my lessons
when i shared this story & STI status with friends, nearly 75% came forward & said…
“ME TOO!”
& then another 10% came forward over the following year to ask,
“how have you dealt with it?? bc now i’m +”
this is the start to a BIG CONVERSATION that needs to be had, & will be had on all of my platforms…especially @trppodcast
what i want you to know right now:
1️⃣you’re not alone or dirty
& you can still have the most epically, orga$mic $ex life
2️⃣as a coach & sexologist, i find it EXTREMELY important to share my status to show you there’s no shame
3️⃣i’d like to also personally invite you to a workshop i’m co-leading w my very integrous partner Paul
THIS SATURDAY called *Spiritual Women Navigating Spiritual Trash*
SWIPE for details - it’s IN PERSON & will be streamed so you can ZOOM in
dm me for the link…we’d love to have you!
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