i love this man. so much more than i thought i ever would.

Nov 16, 2021

i love this man. so much more than i thought i ever would. i’m experiencing partnership in a brand new way. partnership bc we chose & continue to choose each other every day. not out of fear or stories or patterns. but love & creation.
this relationship has been everything i’ve dreamed of & none of it at the same time. it of course came in a package i didn’t see coming. matching on @hinge i totally projected a story about the type of guy i thought he’d be, bc he had a diff look than anyone i’d ever been w. but i was like eyy fuck it ‘imma be poly anyway’😹 here we are 11 months later mono af.
we had our first workshop this past weekend. something i’ve cried over not having bc it felt like such a soul calling. co creation w another human who is passionate about similar things & wants to create change in the world from their story. it came so naturally i almost missed the bigness of it. just felt like another conversation between the 2 of us. 
the formation of our relationship, the depth & connection, the decision making, the love, the sex - all of it has been rather easy.
there of course have been challenges, like any relationship. in the beginning i was so used to being with myself, living alone & moving to the beat of my own drum i had to mourn my independence. & then reclaim it all months later.
my parts were up for a hot min when we were adjusting to shared space. my runner was active. my ‘don’t talk to me during the week!’ was hella active. my ‘how do i create space for everything & not lose me’ was present.
it feels like there has been an incredible settling these last couple months. after he met my family at my brothers wedding, things got a lot more real. our commitment deepened & from there way more magic started to flow through us. 
i have softened. opened. loved deeper. & i have stood in my Self stronger than ever before. i feel like my feminine heart & BEing has naturally come out more & more without me even realizing. bc…i don’t have to hold everything by myself anymore.
i am so grateful.
i knew it existed but i had never felt this kind of selfless love before. & right before i met him, i thought - can i rly find my best friend in a man? yes i did💛


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