feeding the desires of my inner child

i’ve been on the slopes since i was 4. such a little daredevil i was..straight down the mountain i’d go, without breaking or fear 😈

i lovedd it. outside of the boot pain & numb toes 🙃 the hats my brother & dad used to wear were my favorite part…

the pom pom ones especially because they reminded me of the scene from Little Nicky where he grows tatas on his head & needs a headbra 🍉🍉

…everyone on the mountain instantly had headbrea$ts from that moment on 🤗

but somewhere around 20, i stopped going.

my little girl has been so incredibly present these last 2 months. she’s been crying out, needing to be held, seen, & loved…xxtra xxtra 👧🏼

i had a whole open weekend to myself a few weeks ago so i dedicated it to her play & fun🤩

i started with a shopping spree for the best ski suits & gear🎿 our family trip at the beginning of each season was a highlight - picking out goggles & getting to play with the balance boards as they sized us.

i got to Keystone & all of the butterflies started to set in🦋

memories of Mount Snow ❄️ the laughter. the fighting. the frustration of snapping your boot buckles. the lunch room cafeteria & lack of open seats. the attempt of drying your boots by the radiator before taking off for the second half of the day.

my first lift ride up was exhilarating.
the woman asked, ‘first run?’

‘yeah, first run in a decade!’ i laughed

i was two hours into the day & was ready to change my skis out for a different test set, so i decided one last descend.

i was halfway down the blue when i caught an edge on a turn…my binding got stuck & my ski didn’t release. my right leg twisted…& my knee popped.

…i went down down down.

a kind stranger helped carry me to the side of the mountain while they called ski patrol.

but ski patrol never came. so i gathered myself. tested my balance. & skied down.

to be cont’d🥰

🎙p.s. check out the latest solo ep on @trppodcast for the somatic + inner child healing that came from this❤️‍🩹