What if when someone comes to you with pain from the way you’ve hurt them, instead of defending yourself - a.k.a. your ego identity of who you are + who you are not (sounds like "I would NEVER do that. I'm NOT that person. That wasn't my intention. I'm sorry you feel that happened.") - WHAT IF YOU JUST SAID... “Wow. I am so sorry that happened to you, I’m sorry I did that. I can really see why you’d feel this way & how much that would hurt. Please, if you’re open to it..share more of your experience with me. It feels really important & it deserves the space.”
Taking responsibility like this is actually radical. It’s not modeled. This kind of repair isn’t something you see in most organizations, communities or families. But that doesn’t mean it’s not needed or possible.
I totally understand that we are all individually *responsible for our own emotions & experience* 💯x💯 If there's a trigger, there's a parking space for it. Something unresolved in your system.
Nothing outside of you causes your disturbances.
AND, I’m just saying... How different would our world be if we had this level of repair with one another? If we had the communication tools to set a container & be with each other’s pain like this? Pain…& ple@$ure.
Right off the riff I wanna say we do NOT need to do this with everyone.
We choose who we have this level of intimacy with.
It does not apply to all situations & humans.
Not everyone has the capacity in their nervous system to hold this level of closeness & being seen.
Note: this kind of rupture & repair amplifies the intimacy available in relationship. Without it, we are skipping over juicy love that could be penetrating our systems, blocked by the illusion of our rightness from the ego.
Inside IN THE FLESH Mystery School, we hold this process to high importance. As #ex coaches, guides & bodyworkers - having this skillset (the rupture & repair system PLUS doing the work around POWER dynamics & ethics) in your toolbox is incredibly important for you AND your clients.
There WILL be mistakes. You WILL fuckup. It’s truly inevitable.
It’s about how we show up, clean up & take radical personal responsibility.
ITF starts 12/9 - be the best coach you’ve ever been - not because you aren’t already it or because there’s something missing or because I have the secret sauce - but because you‘ve gone deeper inside of yourself.
Undeniable & a priceless journey. #takeresponsibilityforyourfeelings #relationshiprepair #healunresolvedtrauma #ruptureandrepair #powerdynamics #facilitatorschool #facilitatortraining #radicalpersonalresponsibility #mysteryschool #coachtraining